A relationship cannot be based on comfort
This topic is a little bit more complicated. We all have to understand that when cheating appears we mustn’t blame ourselves or the partner. At least not after the attack of emotions of anger, sadness and rage come down. Everyone has his or her own life script, and his and her own psycho pathologies.
Cheating can come from the reasons we are not conscious of. If cheating repeats, it is a script problem of the cheating, as well as the cheated one. Here I will go over that kind of cheating that happens without pathology, problems that are reasons or that arise as consequences, and can be fixed without the help of a therapist. Cheating largely depends on love formula that we as individuals accept in early childhood, the same as who we will fall in love with.
But more about this the next time. The chief thing you have to understand is that relationships are not static. They are changing, growing, and improving all the time. If you don’t improve with them, you will be surpassed and outgrown. A successful relationship follows six rules that we will go over in detail later in this chapter, the first of which, called reinforcement, is the idea that both partners must improve each other in a relationship.
If you’re getting into a relationship to feel comfortable, you’re entering it with the intention to not grow and not change.
A relationship cannot be based on comfort – it must be based on improvement to be healthy. As long as you are together, she must help you to grow and you must help her to grow, even if that means acknowledging that her growth cannot continue with you. The next thing you have to accept is that if you get cheated on, it’s your fault not her fault. A woman cheats because she’s not getting something from you that she needs, and you lack the awareness to figure out what it is.
You are also too hurt and egomanical to let down your shields in order to tell her that you want her to explain her needs to you. If you find yourself in this situation, you probably arrived in it because you entered the relationship with the wrong intentions. Maybe you wanted a girlfriend as a status symbol, or perhaps you just wanted to prove to yourself that you could attract a beautiful woman – whatever the reason was, it definitely wasn’t growth. Dont’s * Don’t go through her emails, text messages, call history, or anything else along those lines. You’ll look like a psycho, and then she’ll have a real reason to cheat on you! If you have a problem, don’t let your insecurities take over.
Deal with your issues like a man, not like a little boy. * Don’t cheat on her as revenge. You won’t hurt her if you do this – you’ll make her feel better about cheating on you because it’ll reinforce the idea that she was right to do it. Break up with her if you think or know that she’s cheating. * Don’t freak out. I know that’s a very, very difficult rule to follow, but please keep yourself grounded. You will be hurt, you will be emotional, but don’t place blame where it doesn’t belong. You have to take responsibility for the outcomes of your relationships and learn from them.